Someone's blog is here!


But… no expectations!

Posted in Uncategorized by G on May 5, 2016

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I know you think you’ve found everything you have always asked for. Perfect in all senses. I mean, you truly made a list and everything he is, it’s in there. But, yes, there is a “but,” a BIG BUT. His past is connected to your present in such a Woody Allen twisted way.  Crimes and Misdemeanors all over again… but more entangled.

You are so alike and yet so different. Your laugh bursts just by talking to him. I can hear you! His fantastic mental maze will never tire you up, I’m sure. Cultivated, smart, funny, traveled, professional, bilingual, with integrity. And his voice, oh, his voice! So masculine and seductive. You think happiness is at your fingertips, but you know he might never take the chance.

I know he is not aware of what you used to feel, that he was always interesting to you. He had that appealing that very few men had. But he was forbidden. VERY. I saw you avoiding his eyes, and his hands -and all of him actually- for years covering him with the friendship veil.   Meantime, he was living a parallel life that nothing had to do with yours, in his personal story of passion and power with somebody else for what seemed an eternity.

Until one day when you learned he had become free again.

I saw you then. Approaching cautiously, interacting timidly, watching every single word that was said. Never felt you that nervous! You felt him. You felt you needed to talk to him. And you encouraged yourself to get to know him, should he decided to do so with you.

He warned you. I heard him say: “Let’s not idealize each other.”

You tried. I have seen you.  You know he is not ideal. No.  You’re not even sure you can deal with all his odd habits. Besides, he does not seem to be the type of guy who will commit to a relationship for life. Marriage? Unlikely in his future. And helping you raise a child, especially this child… your child? Forget ’bout it! It may be too much to ask.

Wake up, woman!  What are you aiming for? Another broken heart? Haven’t you learned anything?

I love your conversations, your way of flirting with each other. If he were a little bit closer, you would have surrendered to him dozens of times… I love seeing you discussing movies, art, and trying to catch up with each other’s choices. I have never felt you this happy, I reckon. I know, you don’t want to be just the friend, but if that’s all you ever will be, so be it. That much you care. He has made no promises; he has been straightforward. No clouds, no lies. And you are aware of it.

I see it’s becoming harder and harder not to think of him as a man. You can’t deny it anymore. You look forward to hearing his voice every day. Every night you look at his last message of the day; every morning you send a wake up “hi…”

I know he may never be in your life the way you want, but who am I to discourage you? For now, I will just let you enjoy what you have, in that virtual world… in that dream of yours, hoping for a miracle to take place… for you.

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Welcome 2015!

Posted in Uncategorized by G on December 31, 2014

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2014: I am not sad to see you go as I am not sad to see many things and people in my life leaving. I can’t say you were a bad year either. Actually, you were incredibly great. You cleaned the bad and put my beliefs to the test. You got me closer to people of value and kept me away from people who shouldn’t be near.

Although I didn’t think I would say this, I have to acknowledge that I am grateful and really humble by all the opportunities I had to live through this year.

I will not forget. Your 365 days were a true breakthrough.

Thank you for the love and lessons. Thank you for those who stayed by my side despite of everything, thank you for those who didn’t and left. thank you for those beautiful guardians who never abandoned me, thank you for the smiles, jokes, post and fights. Thank you to those who supported me in many ways, but specially thank you to those who guided me and comforted me during the hard times.

Life took a drastic change and I am aware of it. I know everything means good and I am ready for 2015, with whatever it brings. I appreciate every thing, creature and person in my life today, and know I don’t take anything for granted anymore. If I made mistakes and you feel hurt, forgive me. I can’t say I won’t do it again, most likely I will. I recon I’m bad at keeping in touch but that doesn’t mean I don’t have you in my mind or I’m not there for you.

I love my friends, some of them my siblings by choice, I love my enemies for being real, and love my teachers who come disguised as students. I love my son, my parents, my sisters, my nephews, my family, my puppies, my spirits, my guides, my ex, and every single living creature that I have encountered.

This New Year, I promise to continue being amazed every morning with every sunrise and being in awe with every sunset. I promise to keep sharing positive ideas and optimistic quotes as that is my way to release negativity -and fat cells, some say. I promise I will continue giving, helping and serving others as that is the only way to spread love. Most importantly, I promise to remember to continue living JUST FOR TODAY… in the NOW.

Ok, 2015. I am here. Hit me with your best shot.

Wed or not to wed

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Dressed in a wedding gown, she looked at herself in the mirror. She was not sure about the step she was taking. Getting married at a church was not something she really wanted.

The guests were already at the atrium, waiting for the bride to walk the aisle. She was anxious. Something had to be done. She didn’t want to betray her own beliefs. She decided to ask him for the last time and went to his chamber.

He opened the door, and she timidly asked: “Do we really need to get married through a religious rite?”

– “Of course!” he yelled while slamming the door at her.

She sighed nervously. And knocked again.

– “What is it now?”

– “But I am not sure about this step, honey…”

– “Listen, I got married once before. You’re just getting cold feet.”

– “What do you mean “you got married once before”?”

– “Yes, didn’t I tell you? I got married and we divorced 2 years later…i am sure I told you.”

– “No…you didn’t” – she paused and continued “We can’t get married then!”

– “Why not?”

– “There’s no divorce. Religiously, you are still married!”

– “Dumb politics. My uncle is the right hand to the archbishop, He will take care of it. Don’t worry. Besides, all the guests are here, We’ve already paid a lot of money and I am not going to be the joke of the year! Go back to your chamber and get ready,” and pushed her away.

She started walking away. She didn’t want to do it. His answer had been a light to what her future with him was going to be. Her heart told her to stop. She went back. This time, he was furious. She looked at him.

– WHAT DO YOU WANT?

She took her engagement ring off and gave it to him. He stared at her. She turned around and walked away. No word was said.

The sun was shining bright and the air was clear…

The 7th Year

Posted in Uncategorized by G on July 28, 2014
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This is NOT a religious message. So don’t read too much into it but if you are struggling or facing something huge, reading this may help you:

“According to the Moses Law, every seventh year you have to release any Hebrew slaves. If you were Hebrew and you owed a person money, and you couldn’t pay them, then they could take you in as a slave and make you work full time until you pay them back. But every seventh year, if you were a part of God’s chosen people, you had a special advantage, you’ve got released, no matter how much you still owed, no matter how much in debt you were, in the 7th year, you would be set FREE.” (Deuteronomy 15)

All the pain, struggle and suffering was gone in ONE DAY.

This tells me that it was never intended for us to be a permanent slave to anything. You may be in debt, you may be struggling with an addiction or a problem, you may be suffering from an illness but it was never intended to be forever nor keep you in bondage.

When you’ll come into your seventh year, you will be released from everything. The seventh year is when you break free from any limitation that is holding you back and it will turn around. Don’t give suffering a permanent address. Nothing is permanent. Get ready to be free. 

25 Things I learned before 25!

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I don’t claim to have written this. But I have reproduced this article as I really believe every woman should learn this and love and appreciate themselves first. So, here it is.

As written by Kristen – The Founder of BTS/Break the silence!

1. Love yourself before you get into a relationship
2. When you see the signs of an abusive relationship, don’t sit around waiting for the person to change (It’s not your job to change the person – they must change themselves).
3. It’s a red flag when your partner acts like a child and wants you to be the parent (Recognize the signs and take action).
4. Wholeheartedly believe you are amazing – this does wonders for your self-esteem (Absolutely!)
5. Be yourself and find friends who accept the real you.
6. You will lose friends who you thought would be around for a lifetime. (Believe it or not – you will eventually find amazing friends.. If you try to find them).
7. Being a leader is tough sometimes. The reward of building others to become leaders is WORTH IT!
8. This “list” of qualities you have in a partner may actually be a bunch of false realities. You may “fall” for someone completely opposite of your “list.”
9. Do things that make you happy OFTEN!
10. Balance the 7 keys: Spirituality, Career, Social, Family, Morals/Values, Education, and Physical.
11. Don’t ever tattoo someones name on you!!!
12. Don’t allow someone to be financially dependent of you.
13. Good credit is important to have – especially when you need to buy a car!
14. Listen to your parents. They are psychic.
15. Find your passion, take a leap of faith, and pursue your passion.
16. A break-up is not the end of the world. Just a start of a new chapter!
17. There are good guys in this world.
18. There are also lots of bad guys in this world who just want to use you (Speaking from personal experience – good guys #17 is for you).
19. Just BE.
20. Don’t try to rush to get married. Nothing is forever.
21. The only person you can fully trust is yourself.
22. The gift of being an aunty is an amazing feeling.
23. Friendship is one of the best gifts you could give yourself.
24. My lifelong friends are the sisters I found at Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence. I am forever grateful to everyone here!

AND..

25. Breaking my silence was the most life-changing experience I’ve ever had and I don’t regret sharing my story with all of you one bit. Breaking free and sharing my story has transformed me from a victim to a survivor! I will NEVER be silent again. Thank you all for supporting BTS and thank you for sharing our page and organization with those who you love. Thank you for being with us on my journey of survivorship and healing as I continue to spread the word about domestic violence awareness!

https://www.facebook.com/breakthesilence1

Prejudice don’t tip

Posted in Uncategorized by G on July 16, 2014
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They walked into a restaurant. Danielle had already given up on the idea of sitting down at a table and enjoy a nice dinner with him. Jerry felt that the idea was boring. He was not the kind who could wait for a table, better to walk straight to the bar. “We don’t have to wait and drinks are served immediately,” he would always claim. Besides, he could sit and watch the girls walking by. That was his routine and she had already got used to it. Not that she liked it but there was no way to win that war.

With a very open smile and a high spirit, the barman asked them what they were going to have. Jerry ordered his usual. Danielle asked for a coke, no ice. “My name’s Charles and I will be your server for the night, here are the menus, take a look at them and I’ll be back with your order.”

As soon as Charles left, Jerry couldn’t avoid but making a contemptuous comment about him. He believed Charles was gay and it bothered him. Danielle didn’t say anything. She doesn’t judge people. She appreciates everybody who is nice to her and Charles was nice, regardless of any appreciation Jerry may have had.

The night went on. Jerry was his usual self, looking at other women, discussing things where he is the center of attention and criticizing everything and everybody. They ordered something to eat. Luckily for her, he order one dish for both because she knew how mad he would get if he needed to pay for something she ordered and didn’t finish. ‘You are smarter than that, you could order less,” he would repeatedly say.

Charles brought the check and left. Jerry threw the money inside and left her to give it to the barman. “I have to go to the restroom, give him this and walk to the door because we need to leave immediately. I am not leaving him a tip.” She asked him the reason, and he said: “I don’t tip gays.” And walked away.

Danielle felt terrible. And pulled money out of her own pocket. Charles had overheard everything as he had already come back to pick up the bill. She gave him the payment. Charles looked at her and said: “he does not deserve a woman like you.” She smiled and a tear showed timidly in her eye. She knew Charles was right.

Jerry came out and rushed her out. That night, Danielle knew that their relationship was not worth it but… she stayed. Sadly, a woman in love can’t and won’t see the true monster she is dating until it is too late.

Oh, if she would have only listened to Charles that night!

Being intelligent is not a matter of smarts

Posted in Uncategorized by G on June 27, 2014
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Really, what does “being intelligent” mean? Is it that you have a high IQ? Is it your capacity to adapt? Is it that you can tell an answer before anybody else? Is it that you know it all or that you can solve any math problem? Is it a trait that gives you the right to think everybody else is stupid or “at a lower level” than you?

Being intelligent is having a balance between your heart and your mind. It doesn’t mean you will have all the answers. it doesn’t mean you can solve every puzzle nor that you grade the highest on a test or have gotten all the awards in the world. It means you recognize every person at its own pace, at is own struggle. It means you understand you are not in a competition to be better than others. Nor a competition to make more money or buy more stuff. It’s not even your capacity to buy and dress on fancy brands or being able to own a ROLEX.

Being intelligent is learning to become one. Being intelligent is recognizing your capacity to love and the connection to a higher purpose. Being intelligent is learning how to juggle with the balls you have been granted at any given time in life, regardless if there is two or seven of them. Being intelligent means you can be a teacher at times and a student at others. It is understanding that insulting others or rejecting them for their gender, color, religion or choices makes you unbalanced in your heart and mind. Intelligence is about living in HARMONY. It means you have made peace with your past and you live in the NOW preparing for a future without being certain of its certainty.

Being intelligent is being you, only you and wanting to be nobody else but you. I admire intelligent people. I hope I will be one of them one day. I still have some learning to do.

Infidelity

Posted in Uncategorized by G on June 27, 2014
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(Reposted from an unknown source)

Unfortunately, I don’t know who wrote this to credit it to that person but it is so empowering that I believe it must be reposted and distributed as much as possible. Therefore, here it goes…

“….Infidelity! The most horrific word we have to deal with in relationships. what causes this breach in a couple’s love? Do we forgive; do we get over it; do we leave? What do we do?

….Why do people cheat? No one starts out in a relationship with the thought “Oh, after a few months, I think I will have an affair.” We get into a relationship or a marriage and we start out with the greatest hopes and dreams of spending a wonderful life together. We are so excited to begin our life with someone else. Where did it go wrong?

….People start affairs for one major reason. Yes, there are so many little reasons but the one that both men and women can fall prey to is a lack of value in the relationship. We just do not feel valued and appreciated. At times we cannot even say it for we become afraid of the conflict with our spouse or partner. We really do not want to leave the relationship; we would not have an affair if that was the case. WE WOULD LEAVE! We want to feel something that we believe is missing within it.

….This is such a dark time for us. We begin to lie about where we are and we either detach completely or pretend to be involved but we really are not being honest; we are just not there. Are we supposed to announce to our partner “Hey, I am cheating on you!” Don’t think so! Did we stop loving each other? Perhaps! But more important we stopped talking to each other. We began to take each other for granted and we became too involved with our own lives. This affects both men and women. Do not misunderstand this post, affairs are wrong! But they are understandable. Just do not make it your right to have one. Leave if you cannot talk to your partner!

….We do make a vow or a commitment with another person to be with each other; solely with one another. We are wrong to think that the affair is the fault of the other person for they did not fulfill our needs. That might be true but it is an excuse.

….Do not expect that your partner will jump at the opportunity to take you back. We cannot have it both ways, have an affair and then be forgiven, or be angry at our partner so we do not say how deeply sorry we are. If you show no remorse but end up defending your reasons, say goodbye to your present life!”

AMEN.

13 Red Flags (I saw and ignored) that he (or she) may not be right for you

Rata de alcantarilla y Corazón abandonado. Obra de Antonio Fabella.

We all want to be in love and feel loved but sometimes during this search we find a person that is truly not a good match for us but we stay hoping that the guy will step up to the relationship. Here are my 13 red flags that should make you reconsider the relationship you are in. (This may be helpful for guys too)

1. He does not show any love or has any nice gestures with you.

A man who cares for you will open the door for you, will ask about you, will call, will keep in contact, will want to be a part of your life.

2. He rarely keeps contact.

With technology these days, it is ridiculous to say “I didn’t have time.”  We all have at least three minutes to send a whatsapp, a text, a viper, a voxer, a tweet… anything!! If  he has time to post something on facebook or twitter, he is not thaaaaaat busy, don’t overthink it. He is making a conscious decision about posting on facebook rather than sending you a message. And if you asked what’s going on, he just would accuse you of being crazy or possessive. Oh, yes, he blames it on a lack of privacy at work… You are his partner, girlfriend, significant other… so what’s that privacy BS about? Oh yes, somebody may discover he has a girlfriend…or maybe he has made it clear he does not want everybody to know about you two to protect you from gossip. Really?

3. When you go out, he must look (and comment) on every girl he sees.

And not only that, he strategically sits you in a place where he can see girls walking by…Listen careful: RUN!! In a few months you will become as insecure as the worst and then jealousy will take the worst out of you (I’m speaking out of experience, unfortunately). Don’t allow it. You don’t deserve to be exposed to this. It’s obvious women are a sexual object for him, nothing else. A man who loves you will give you the respect you deserve and no other woman will ever matter.

4. He does not like that you check your social media or your e-mails or even make a phone call in his presence.

But he does not stop checking his phone or his messages…and replies to all of them too. “It might be important, maybe his family or his work.”  And your communication needs are not important?

5. All he cares about is what he wants to do.

You would like to do many things with him, share time together but he only wants to stay in and watch his games. I am not against doing this once every now and then but every time you see each other?

6. His values are different from yours.

Values are important. They are the base for any relationship. You can like the same things or enjoy the same shows but if your values are not similar, the relationship is destined to be doomed.

7. He spends money but…

You agreed on how expenses were going to be, but it feels like he leaves you to take care of the big expenses and does not offer to help or complains because he paid for something you had, be careful, he might be just taking advantage of you just to get a free ride. Hard to say but there are many guys like this today.

8. He looks down to others (and you).

He has to make a negative comment or complain about every person or thing he sees. He feels that nobody is good enough for him (and you, of course.) So, how can you expect he will believe you bring value to his life? Look at how he treats others, especially his family and children, if he has any. This is especially important when you have children and he will be a role model. Think, will he be there for your child if you were not around? Be extremely careful if he calls you names or makes derogatory comments towards you or your decisions.

9. He judges everything you do and say.

And he always finds incongruences. If you don’t believe in something,  he will question until you get tired of explaining yourself; If you have to work long hours, he will doubt you are even working, Forget your job, he won’t believe you have a degree or a beautiful heart because you help people in a hospice. He is a liar, therefore everybody must be a liar too. You should not need to prove your honesty every 5 minutes.

10. The Sex God

He has satisfied all the women he has dated. ALL of them. But you are not that sure about that. It is not that it matters to you (you love him just the way he is) but… YES, sex matters… and making love only happens when there is…well, LOVE. Is he attentive to your needs or is it just an act of 5 minutes “and let’s get dressed and go out?” Hmmmmm… I think I rest my case.

11. Alcohol is his best friend

Drinking is good once in a while but when he has to start drinking and continue drinking (and asks you to drink while you barely drink) ’till the day is over… something is wrong. Alcoholism is a progressive addiction. More important, what happens when he drinks? Does he become aggressive or is he as functional as the pilot in the movie ‘Flight”? BIG RED FLAG.

12. He knows everything about you… do you know everything about him?

Trust is basic. When there is no trust, there’s nothing. It’s impossible to know a person completely but you should be able to know where he is or who his friends are, do you…? Just saying.

13. Is his temper, tempered?

When you lose control of yourself because you feel betrayed, sad, irritated, will he know how to support you or will he react aggressively? Think of that. You could end at least with a bad bruise.

A relationship must bring the best out of you, not the stress in you. You must feel happy, loved and in peace. If there is none of these feelings, then stop and reconsider all your options, even letting that relationship go.

A Supermoon night!

Posted in Uncategorized by G on June 24, 2013
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While sitting on the hood of her car in the middle of nowhere in the hill country admiring the moon, a firefighter truck passed by. It slowed down and flashed a light towards her face. She couldn’t see but smiled. The truck left. Few minutes later, a couple of firefighters approached her. She was surprised. “Do you need any help ma’am?”… “No, thank you, I am just admiring the moon, it’s the supermoon, you know? The longest day of the year, the closest moon to Earth!”…They smiled and exchanged looks between them. “Don’t go anywhere,” they said… “Believe me, I’m not planning on it.” They walked away.

Suddenly, the firefighter truck was back and parked behind her car. The firefighters invited her to come over to the truck. She was hesitant. They raised the truck’s ladder and told her to climb up and check her moon from the top of the ladder… “Really???” With a huge smile on her face, there she went all the way to the top! She felt so lucky and blessed. There, close to her on her private balcony, she had a chat with the moon. Dreams, sighs, disappointments, memories, and more were discussed.

When she felt she had accomplished her goal, she climbed down the ladder. “Thank you so much for letting me do this!,” she said… “Thanks for reminding us to stop and smell the roses, well, to look at the moon…” the captain said with a smile, and shook her hand. She jumped into her car and drove away as they were waving good-bye…

And this, my friends, is a true story.

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